Closer to Me
by Autumn Laborra
Summary: Zig knew that if he wanted to do this right – and he did, no matter how long it took – Maya had to know that despite all the rumors, despite spending so much time in the Rubber Room, and despite being thrown out of his own home, he was still a good person. Immediately following S13E26 "Close to Me", a look at the situation from Zig's eyes. Zaya.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I had such emotional blue balls after "Close to Me" that I came back to fanfic after an 8 year hiatus. I was astonished to see how many people are anti-Zig. Maybe this fic will show people what I see in him?

Zig sat down heavily on Katie's bed, heart thumping so fast he thought it would crack his sternum. It had taken all his self-control to not kiss Maya in the kitchen, and he punched the mattress with both fists in frustration. Still, he was proud of himself for mastering his impulses. If he wanted to do this right – and he did, no matter how long it took – Maya had to know that despite all the rumors, despite spending so much time in the Rubber Room, and despite being thrown out of his own home, he was still a good person.

Zig lay back on the bed, his legs still hanging off the side, feet skimming the floor. Tonight could not have gone better. Had Miles narked on him 3 months earlier, Zig would be on his way to the police station right now. But after his parents kicked him out and he started living in the abandoned house, Zig knew he couldn't give the cops any reason to look twice at him. So he had let Damon buy him out of the last of his stash, and didn't get involved anymore when his friends talked about any sketchy business. He had lost a lot of street cred, but he didn't care about that. All he seemed to care about was Maya.

God, that girl was infuriating. Infuriating and intoxicating. Zig had never felt this way about any girl before. He had loved her for so long when they were niners, and he still loved her, without a doubt – but something seismic happened over the summer. They grew so far apart so quickly, and Maya knew so little about Zig's life now that he wanted to scream. But then she would smile, and he could feel his anger melt away.

Zig looked up from the bed at the closed door. He thought he had heard someone knocking softly. He let his head drop back down to the mattress, convincing himself his was just imagining things he wanted to hear. There was no way Maya would want to talk to him right now, not after he laid all his cards on the table downstairs. He closed his eyes and a small smile played across his lips, remembering the look of shock in her bright eyes, the smell of her shampoo – it had been months since they had been close enough that he could smell her hair, and he was surprised at how comforting the smell was.

_Knock knock knock_.

Zig sat up. That was not his imagination. He covered the distance to the door in two steps and opened it to reveal Maya Matlin, that same look of shock in her eyes.

"I… hey…" Zig began. Maya walked into the room and turned around to face him. He took a step towards her, unsure what to say.

Maya closed the gap between them, reached her hands up to either side of Zig's face, pulled him down towards her, and kissed him.

There was a hunger behind the kiss that Zig hadn't experienced before. Kissing Tori had been nice but this… this was everything. Between their lips passed understanding, apology, remorse, and passion. Zig didn't want this to end, wanted to wind his fingers in her hair, wanted to throw her down on her sister's bed and cover her entire body with kisses. But instead he just wrapped his arms around Maya's waist, pulling her a little closer. He knew that if this was to be done right (and it had to be right; it had to be perfect), Maya had to be in control.

She broke away from him then, as though she could read his thoughts, and Zig was startled to see tears in her eyes. He opened his mouth to apologize, but she waved her hand, asking him to wait and let her speak first.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand, turning her to face him, their eyes level with each others'. Maya inhaled deeply, trying to master her breathing.

"I…" she began, and faltered. Zig waited. She tried again. "I'm so sorry. You said you'd wait. You told me you liked me, and that you'd wait until I was ready, and then I just… I just left you!" Tears had started to fall now.

"It's oka-" Zig started, but Maya's hand flew up again, and he stopped.

"It's not okay!" Maya exclaimed, "Not at all! You were my best friend and you cared about me, and I just went to Paris and got caught up with all that Zoe and Miles bullshit!" She sniffed loudly, looking at the floor. "And when I came back, something had happened. Something changed you, and there was this… this gulf between us, and I didn't think I could cross it, so I…" Maya drifted off, seemingly unaware of how to describe her behavior. "So I let it get worse, because it that was easy. I could have tried talking to you, or finding out what happened, but that would have meant admitting I had done something wrong, and I didn't want to do that. I was selfish, and I hurt you, and I'm so, so sorry."

Zig looked at her. She had stopped crying, and was now looking at him with such intensity he thought he would melt. She had verbalized everything he had held against her for the past seven months, and he found himself without any resentment.

"I accept your apology," he said solemnly, taking both her hands in his. "I just wish you had realized all this earlier. It's sucked not having you around this year."

Maya took a step closer to the bed, standing between his knees. "I'm here now." She leaned in to kiss him again, and Zig turned his head away.

"What?" Maya asked, concern twisting her features. "Am I too late? Did I wait too long?"

"No, Maya," Zig said, "You took the time you needed. That's fine. But I don't want to break the rules."

Maya dropped Zig's hands and crossed to the door, shutting it softly. "There. My parents are asleep. They won't hear us."

Zig shook his head slowly. "Not that."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Miles."

Maya looked at Zig a long moment, then sat down next to him on the bed. She didn't say anything, but slowly rested her head on Zig's shoulder.

"You have a boyfriend," Zig said softly, trying to ignore how his stomach was doing flip-flops. "If this is going to happen - if "us" is going to happen, I want it to be right. I don't want to make you be a cheater, Maya." He lifted her chin up and faced her, looking into her deep blue eyes. "You're too special for that."

Maya wrapped her arms around Zig, hugging him close. "I've waited this long," he murmured, "I can wait a little longer."

Maya pulled away. "Not very. I'll see him tomorrow." She shook her head sadly. "He's not the person I thought he was."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'll be fine. I owe it to him to go by myself." Maya stood up and took a step towards the door. "I guess I should go to bed." She didn't move.

Zig nodded slowly. "Guess so…" he said. He knew she must be exhausted, but didn't want her to leave.

"I don't want to leave," Maya admitted, again mirroring Zig's thoughts with her own. "Can I…?" The half-formed question hung between them.

"Yeah!" Zig exclaimed, smiling. The thought of just sleeping in the same bed as Maya caused a rush of warmth to pass over Zig's body. "Yeah, of course. You might not be that comfortable, though…" he warned.

"Why? Is Katie's mattress that bad?"

"No, it's just…" Zig looked pointedly at Maya's body. She was still wearing her semi-formal dress.

"Oh!" Maya looked down at herself, then cast a glance at Zig's duffel bag sitting on Katie's desk. "Do you maybe have something I can borrow?"

"Why don't you-" Zig started, then caught himself. He was going to point out her own pajamas were right down the hall, but he realized just how badly Maya wanted to stay in the room. It was as though a spell has been cast between them, and opening the door might break the magic. He nodded, crossing to the bag and pulling out some sweatpants and a clean t-shirt.

"Here," he held them out to Maya. "I'll just…" he motioned to the nearest corner, "…over there." As he turned to face the wall he heard a soft giggle. He started to look at Maya to ask what was so funny, but the sound of her zipper made him direct his eyes back to the wall. He had to do this right, difficult though it was.

"All set," came Maya's voice, and Zig turned around. She looked ridiculous in his clothes, the pants legs pooling around her feet. He smiled, and she smiled back, and his heart did a cartwheel. This was actually happening. After seven months of trying to push Maya as far away from him as possible, she was right here in his bedroom. Zig crossed to the bed and pulled down the covers, sliding in.

"Don't you want to change?" asked Maya, crossing next to the bed.

"No, this is fine," he replied, not wanting to tell Maya he usually slept in just his boxers. That didn't seem appropriate, and she was wearing his only pair of sweatpants. He'd be fine in his jeans.

"Don't be silly," she said, "your shirt will get wrinkled." Zig realized his was still wearing the button-down from the dance. Maya climbed onto the bed, kneeling next to him. She smiled at him again. "Let me help."

Zig swallowed hard and closed his eyes as Maya began to undo the buttons of his shirt, trying to master his impulses Her fingers danced across his chest leaving fiery traces in their wake, and her hands brushed against his shoulders as she pushed the shirt down his arms, sending chills up his spine.

"Maya…" he whispered, and opened his eyes. Their eyes locked, and suddenly her mouth was on his again, pressing, yearning for more. Maya lifted a leg and brought it to the other side of Zig's lap so she straddled him, never breaking the connection. It seemed that Maya was trying to make up for the last seven months in one kiss' worth of passion, her hands working up the back of his neck into his hair.

Zig pulled his wrists free of the shirt and threw it across the room. He sat up, bringing their bodies closer together, his hands traveling up Maya's spine. She shivered, inadvertently grinding into Zig's lap. He felt a sudden rush of blood and had the impulse to throw Maya off him so she wouldn't feel his erection between their clothes.

He could feel her lips smiling against his, though. She had felt it, and hadn't minded. If anything, she was kissing him with even more hunger now, and Zig was only too happy to reciprocate. Her hands tugged at the hem of his undershirt, and he obligingly lifted his arms to allow Maya to pull it over his head and cast it aside, their lips parting momentarily only to meet again once the shirt had cleared his head. His hands came to rest at Maya's waist underneath her t-shirt, and he fought his impulse to move them higher on her body.

Maya caught his lower lip in her mouth, sucking softly. A moan escaped from Zig and he closed his eyes. This was heaven, but it was too much. It wasn't supposed to be like this, impulsive and careless. Zig knew what he wanted with Maya; had known it for over a year, and it wasn't supposed to be a wild scramble, trying to accomplish as much as possible before they were caught or had a change in heart.

He felt Maya's hands move down to his pants' zipper, and he caught her wrists.

"Hang on," he murmured against her lips, and she sat back, frowning.

"What's wrong?" she asked, "Do you not like it?"

"No," Zig replied quickly, "This is wonderful." He looked at her, taking in her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. "You're wonderful," he added.

Maya smiled seductively. "Than what's the problem…?" The question trailed off into a whisper as she leaned in for another kiss. Zig tilted his head to the side and heard Maya's head softly 'thud' against the headboard.

"The problem," he began, placing a soft peck on the red spot on her forehead, "is that we…" he faltered, trying to verbalize his feelings without revealing their full intensity, for fear of scaring her off. He began again. "I don't want us to be rushed, or hurried, Maya. I really like you, and if this is going to happen, I want to do it right."

Maya looked into his eyes, and he could feel her trying to read something hidden behind his words. He knew she wouldn't find anything, though. For the first time since she came back from Paris, he was being completely and totally open with her.

"I understand," she said, and slid off his lap onto the bed. "You're right."

Zig brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're incredible," he said, "You know that, right?"

Maya looked down, blushing. "We should go to bed," she said. "If we keep talking…" Her hands rolled over each other, implying that if they stayed up they would go right back to making out.

Zig nodded, scooting down on the mattress. He lay on his back, and held out his arm so Maya could lie down with his arm around her. She did, nuzzling against his chest once. Zig kissed the top of her head, again breathing in the scent of her shampoo. She exhaled contentedly, snuggling deeper into his side, one hand on his stomach. Zig worked to steady his breathing, trying to come down from his emotional high. This evening had been absolutely perfect. He replayed the night's events in his mind as he fought against sleep, not wanting to surrender the night to a new day. There was magic in the room, and he hoped that the dawn of morning wouldn't break the spell.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the feedback, guys! The previous chapter was originally meant to be a oneshot, but I had a seed of an idea regarding what happened to Zig last summer, so I'm going to try expanding this out into an actual story. I hope you'll join me for the journey!

Zig woke with a start, unsure of his surroundings. It took him a couple seconds to remember he didn't need to worry; he was staying at the Matlins'. Waking up here was a vast improvement to waking up in the abandoned house – for starters, the Matlins' home had heat.

He smiled as the events of last night came rushing back to him. It seemed like a dream, but it had really happened: he had told Maya he still had feelings for her, and she had responded in the best way possible.

He rolled over to face her, but found the other half of the bed empty.

Zig sat up, frowning. It _had_ really happened, right? He ran the night through his head again, trying to pick out indications it had been a dream. Everything seemed totally normal and realistic, except one – how he felt. Last night had been the best Zig had felt, the happiest he'd been, in over a year.

He really hoped it hadn't been a dream. But if it was real, why wasn't Maya still there?

A purposeful knock on the door interrupted his reverie. "Yes?" he called, "Come in."

The door opened to reveal Mr. Matlin, dressed for a day off work in khaki shorts and a neat polo. "Morning, Zig," he said crisply, looking at the foot of Katie's bed in lieu of eye contact.

Zig appreciated the discretion as he pulled the blankets over his chest. "Good morning, Mr. Matlin." Zig knew Maya's mom had taken some convincing about his staying here, but he got the feeling that, had Mr. Matlin's opinion been taken, Zig would be staying in a group home right now.

"Margaret is making pancakes, and wants to know if you would like some." Mr. Matlin stated, not lingering on pleasantries.

Zig couldn't remember the last time someone had made him breakfast. Before he had gotten kicked out, obviously. But even then, his mom had been so busy working in the shop, and his dad was… He realized Mr. Matlin was waiting for a response.

"That sounds awesome, Mr. Matlin" Zig replied, "Thank you."

Mr. Matlin nodded curtly and left, shutting the door behind him again. Zig threw off the covers and crossed to his duffel bag, pulling out his other pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He gave himself a sniff-check and decided to shower before going downstairs. Taking the change of clothes with him, Zig crossed the hall to the bathroom. He was reaching for the knob when the door swung open, revealing Maya in just a towel, her hair wet around her shoulders.

"Oh!" she cried, startled by his presence. One of her hands flew up to make sure the towel didn't fall.

Zig jumped a little as well, not expecting anyone to be using the bathroom. "Sorry," he mumbled, "I was just gonna… But I can wait."

Maya shook her head. "It's fine. I'm all done for now. Go for it." She gave him a tight smile before darting around him, down the hall, and back into her own room.

Zig went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, puzzled by that little exchange. Had Maya just been surprised when she opened the door to find someone standing there, or was she nervous to be around him? Did she regret last night? Is that why she has snuck out of bed that morning without waking him up? As the water ran over his head and his body, Zig replayed the previous night in his head yet again, this time looking for something he had done to offend or upset Maya. He couldn't think of anything; it had all seemed so perfect as they fell asleep, like there was magic in the room.

Zig stopped soaping up his body and groaned. He remembered a fleeting worry that had crossed through his mind just as he was drifting off to sleep. He had recognized the magic, and hoped that morning wouldn't break the spell.

Evidently that was exactly what had happened.

Zig turned off the water and toweled himself dry, pulling on his clothes as fast as he could. He needed to talk to Maya, to explain that even though it was a new day, nothing had changed for him. He still wanted – needed – her as badly as he had last night, and he had to make sure she felt the same.

He dropped his dirty clothes off in Katie's room, and then made his way down the hall to Maya's. The door was open, and when Zig looked in he was disappointed to find the room empty. A laugh came from downstairs, and he followed the sound into the kitchen, where he found Maya pouring a glass of orange juice.

"Maya, we have to ta-" Zig stopped short as Maya gave him a warning look.

"Dad," she called over her shoulder, "Do you want juice, too?"

"No thank you," came the reply through the doorway into the dining room, "I'm fine with just coffee."

Zig entered the kitchen and saw Margaret Matlin, previously hidden from his view, standing over the range, balancing on one crutch as she slid pancakes from a skillet to a large platter. She looked up at Zig and smiled.

"'Morning, Zig," she said, "You're just in time. Can you take this in for me?" She gestured to the now-full platter of pancakes. Zig obliged and picked up the food, walking closely behind Maya.

"We need to talk," he whispered as he passed by her, and almost missed her terse reply, "Later."

He set the pancakes in the center of the table, at which Mr. Matlin was already seated with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. Margaret came into the room, followed by Maya, who was carefully holding three glasses of orange juice.

"Here," Maya said to Zig, holding her full hands out towards him. "Grab one."

Zig reached out and took a glass, his fingers brushing Maya's hand in the process. He felt a spark run through him and he looked into Maya's eyes. He could see that she felt it too. Zig fought the impulse to whoop in celebration – the magic was still there.

Margaret took the second glass from Maya, gesturing to the chair opposite her. Zig sat down, a tingling feeling in his fingertips. "This looks great, Mrs. Matlin, thank you," he said, helping himself to two pancakes off the top of the stack.

Mr. Matlin folded his newspaper and set it aside. "Maggie, you've out-done yourself," he said appreciatively. "Maya," he continued, "Aren't you joining us?"

Zig looked up from the syrup he was pouring to see Maya still standing, holding the last glass of juice. "No, this'll be it for me," she said, taking a sip. "I'm meeting Miles for brunch." She glanced at Zig but looked immediately away.

An invisible, iron-strong hand clamped around Zig's heart. Why wouldn't Maya look at him? Had she changed her mind about Miles? Had she forgiven him, deciding her boyfriend had been trying to protect her? Zig came back to his senses just in time to stop the syrup from flowing off his plate and onto the table.

"Brunch, eh? That sounds nice," Margaret said, politely ignoring the pancake-soup on Zig's plate.

Maya made a noncommittal noise. Zig tried to catch her eye again, but she just took her juice back into the kitchen and rinsed the glass out in the sink.

"I'll be back before dinner," she called, and Zig heard her leave out the front door. Mr. Matlin began going over his plans for replanting one of the flowerbeds in the backyard with Margaret, and Zig did his best to enjoy his syrup-soaked pancakes, trying to ignore the overpowering sense of doom hanging over him.

* * *

Zig sat at Katie's desk, trying to focus on his math homework. He was on thin ice in most of his classes and needed to get top marks on the next couple tests to avoid academic probation, but he couldn't stop glancing at his phone. It was after 2 in the afternoon; Zig hadn't been to that many brunches, but had a feeling that four hours was excessive.

His phone beeped, and in his haste to check the message he knocked the phone off the desk. He scrambled to retrieve it and swiped the screen, but groaned when he saw it was from Damon:

_Mikhail wants 2 know if you can help with the next job_

Zig thumbed in a hurried reply:

_already told u im done with that. Tell him no_

He pressed send without truly weighing the ramifications, but he had more important things to worry about. The only reason Maya would still be with Miles is if she hadn't done what she said she'd do.

But had she said she'd break up with him? Zig couldn't remember her saying those exact words last night, but that was what she meant – right? Or had Zig just misinterpreted things to fit into his fantasy? The more he thought about the situation, the more he convinced himself he had misread the signals and nothing would change between him and Maya.

His phone buzzed again, and he considered throwing it out the window instead of dealing with Damon's response. He glanced down, and was pleased with his restraint:

_Come 2 the dot plz_

It was from Maya.

Zig sent a hurried reply back, then grabbed for his shoes and a hoodie. He took the stairs two at a time and was out the front door before Mr. Matlin had a chance to yell at him for running in the house.


	3. Chapter 3

Zig barreled into The Dot fifteen minutes later, nearly knocking over some niners in his haste to get through the door. He scanned the restaurant and found Maya sitting by herself at the counter, back to him. He made his way through the crowded tables and took the stool next to her.

"Hey," he murmured, not yet sure of her mood. She glanced up at him, and Zig could tell from her red-rimmed eyes that while she was no longer crying, she recently had been. "Oh, Maya," he said softly, "I'm sorry." He put his arm around her, and she crumpled into him.

"Can we go?" Maya asked, barely above a whisper, her voice shaking.

"Of course," Zig replied immediately, standing up. In that moment, he would do anything she asked.

"I wanted to come home, but I didn't want to go by myself," Maya said, still speaking so softly Zig had to lean in to catch the words. "He won't leave."

Zig tore his eyes from Maya's face and scanned The Dot. He spotted Miles sitting at a table against the far wall and Zig felt his muscles tense: Miles was staring at him with a cold fury Zig had only witnessed a handful of times before. He held the other boy's gaze, narrowing his eyes. Miles' eyebrows shot up in a challenge, and Zig took a step towards him before Maya tugged on his arm.

"Please, Zig" she implored, "Can we just go?"

Zig nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact with the boy in the corner. Maya started to move towards the door and Zig turned his back on Miles to follow, positioning himself as a shield between Maya and her newly ex-boyfriend.

Maya walked with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, shoulders hunched, as though trying to protect herself from a gust of cold wind. She led Zig down the sidewalk away from The Dot for a block before turning into an empty alleyway. Zig followed a couple steps behind the blonde, content to play the bodyguard until she wanted to talk. Zig was aching to know what had happened between her and Miles, but felt it prudent to let Maya open up on her own.

Maya's shortcut through the alley led them to a small, empty patio. It looked like it at one time had been outdoor seating for a restaurant, but was forgotten by the owners a long time ago. Weeds grew up through the brickwork and ivy covered the surrounding walls. Maya crossed to a wide brick bench encircling an empty fountain in the center of the space, but instead of sitting down she remained up, as though standing on the threshold of a room she didn't want to enter. Zig stood a few paces back, waiting.

In one fluid motion Maya turned, covered the distance between them, and found Zig's lips with her own. Zig wasn't sure what he had been expecting Maya to do, but it certainly wasn't this. He felt a sense of desperation in Maya that hadn't been there the night before, which worried him. He needed to know what had happened between her and Miles at The Dot.

"Tell me I'm not stupid."

Maya spoke in a whisper, her lips still against Zig's. He pulled away to respond, and saw that she was crying again.

"Maya," he began but she cut him off with more pleading whispers, pulling herself tight into his arms, her face burrowed in his shoulder.

"Tell me I'm not stupid. Tell me I'm not naïve. Tell me you're still the same person. Please, _please_ tell me I'm not a fool for trusting you." She looked up into Zig's eyes, searching for answers. "I need to know I'm not making the same mistakes again."

Zig searched Maya's face, trying to figure out what to say that would soothe her. "This isn't a mistake," he said carefully, "I haven't changed. Not what matters, anyway." Maya's eyes narrowed slightly. "And you're not stupid, like, at all," he added. She sighed and looked away. "Did Miles say all that crap?"

"Some of it," Maya muttered, not meeting his eyes. "He said you were tricking me, that I was being naïve and he was protecting me from myself." She took a couple steps away from Zig, wrapping her arms around herself again. "I told him no matter what he thinks about you, it was wrong to have made that tip to Mr. Perino. He said that's how it is in the real world; he's learned about that while helping with his dad's campaign. Dishonesty is fine if the ends justify the means. And he said if I couldn't understand that, I was stupid." She looked up at Zig, who felt fury race through his blood.

"That spoiled, smarmy, son-of-a-" Zig turned to go back to The Dot. "If he thinks he can talk to you like that…"

"Zig, wait!" Maya shouted, stopping him in his footsteps. "What if he's right?" she asked plaintively. Zig crossed back to her, realizing it was more important right now to stay with her than to exact revenge. There'd be time for that later.

"He's not right," Zig stated flatly. "You're the smartest person I know."

"Then why do I keep making the same mistakes?" Maya asked, sounding close to tears again.

"What do you m-?"

"Everyone I think I can trust – I can't! I thought Miles was the sweetest guy I'd ever met, but turns out he's just as big a dick as his father. " Maya passed back and forth across the patio, working herself into a frenzy. " I never hear from Tori anymore, it's like she totally forgot about me. Tristan is constantly on the lookout for a cooler best friend, like I'm not good enough. Katie was supposed to be my role model, but she went crazy for a year and almost turned into a literal whore, and then has the nerve to judge me! And Cam-" Maya cut herself off, as though scared of speaking too harshly of her late boyfriend. She collected her thoughts and continued, no longer shouting: "I knew Cam wasn't happy with hockey, but he made me believe that he was okay. I trusted that he was okay… and then he wasn't."

Zig wished there was something he could do or say to assuage Maya's fears. Promises of never hurting her would mean nothing: she had been told that before, by people who broke their word. How could he show her that he was worth trusting? It came to him in a flash – give her more to trust.

Zig crossed to the bench surrounding the empty fountain. "Come here," he said, patting the seat next to him.

Maya took a few steps towards him but didn't seem to want to settle down. "Why?" she demanded.

"Because -" Zig grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. "– I'm going to tell you what happened last summer."

Maya sat down immediately. "Zig you don't have to-"

"I want you to know. I need you to know. If this – us – is going to happen…" Zig trailed off, realizing that he no longer knew if Maya still wanted to date him. It didn't sound like she wanted to date anyone right now. "Regardless," he continued, "You were my best friend, and then you weren't, and you deserve to know what happened."

Maya didn't protest again. Zig took a deep breath, trying to put the pieces of the story in an order that would make sense.

"You know my parent's shop? And our apartment?"

Maya nodded.

"We don't own it. I mean, we own the stuff inside, that's why we can sell it, but we rent the building. Our old landlord, Ms. Philgreen, was awesome – she'd let it slide if we were a little short one month, and even gave us a new fridge when the old one stopped working – but she died last spring, and since none of her kids wanted the building, they decided to auction it.

"My parents did everything they could to get the building, but even with all our savings, even my college fund, we didn't have enough to win. Instead the building went to… Aleksei Abramov." He tensed, waiting for Maya's reaction.

"Who is that?"

Zig sighed. This was going to be more difficult than he thought. Of course Maya wouldn't know who Aleksei was; there was no reason she or her family would ever cross paths with him. He searched for the words to accurately describe the man: he didn't want to scare Maya, but she needed to know the seriousness of the situation.

"Aleksei owns a few of businesses in my neighborhood. He and his cousin, Mikhail, work for the Pushnaya family, which is involved in some really shady dealings – I've heard rumors about loan sharking, illegal gambling, prostitution, and worse."

"Like the Mafia?"

Zig nodded slowly. "Sort of. I mean, they're not Italian, obviously. It's not like _The Godfather_. But they have a lot of money behind them, and if they want you to do something… they're not the sort of people you can say 'No' to."

Maya turned to face him on the bench. "But the police-"

Zig shook his head, cutting her off. "The beat cops are all either too scared to do anything, or on the family's payroll. A few politicians are in the Pushnayas' pockets as well, which keeps the detectives focused on other organizations.

"Anyway," Zig pressed on with his story, "Aleksei buys my parents' building in April, and the next week he comes by during the day while I'm at school. He introduces himself, tells my parents they have a really nice store. Says that property taxes and electricity have gone up; he apologizes, but he needs to raise rent a little. Same thing happens in May – rent goes up. My parents' lease isn't rent-controlled; Aleksei can do whatever he wants with it. Every month he asks for more money.

"In July he comes in, says my dad's short on the rent. Pa tells him business was a little slow. Aleksei says that's not his problem: if he doesn't get the rent in full plus interest by the end of the month, he'll evict us."

Maya gasped. "And that's why you were in the abandoned house?" she asked. "You were evicted?"

"No," Zig replied curtly, trying not to get derailed from the story now that he was on a roll. "Aleksei told my dad that if he was short on money, he could offer us a break in the rent in exchange for conducting some additional business for him and his… colleagues."

"Wait," Maya interrupted again, "Your store is a front for the Mob now?"

"No!" Zig said impatiently, "Not really," he amended, and felt Maya's eyes widen next to him. "I don't know. Can I just keep going?"

"Please, sorry. I'll be quiet." Maya hooked her arm around Zig's and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Around this time I was complaining to Damon about how money was kinda tight. He introduced me to his neighbor Mikhail, told him I needed some extra cash. He set me up with…" Zig tapered off, not wanting to finish the sentence. He didn't want Maya to think less of him; didn't want anything Miles had said about him to seem true. But he knew that if he wanted Maya to trust him, holding any secrets back wasn't going to cut it.

"Mikhail deals. He wanted someone with ties to Degrassi to help spread his reach. He wanted to move into prescription drugs, and he thought there was a market at our school." Zig moved to face Maya, hoping that if she looked into his eyes she would see his regret. "You have to understand, Maya, I was trying to help my family. All the money I made was for rent and food, I didn't keep any of it, you need to believe me – I'm not a bad person." His voice cracked and his eyes burned as he held back tears. "Please don't hate me," he whispered.

Maya looked at him a long moment, until Zig could no longer hold her gaze and turned his head down. He felt Maya scoot closer against him, and her arms enveloped his body in the tightest hug she'd ever given him. "I could never hate you," she breathed into his ear.

Zig kept his head down. "I didn't want to, but how else could I help? I wouldn't get as much money with a real job. I told my parents I got a job bussing tables, but they didn't believe me."

"So that's why they kicked you out? Because you tried to help them?"

"No, they were trying to protect me."

Maya loosened her hold and sat back; Zig could hear confusion and thinly-veiled anger in her voice. "Protect you from what? A safe place to live?"

"But it wasn't safe, that's the thing," Zig replied. He had never thought about the events of the last seven months all in a row like this, and it was starting to exhaust him. "I don't know exactly what Aleksei has my parents doing, they won't tell me, they say I can't get in trouble with the police that way. But it must be something bad. Ma kept telling me that it was a blessing I was never home when Aleksei was there, or if he saw me he'd want to get me involved with one of his businesses.

"But then a little over three months ago, when Ma and Pa found out about my dealing, we realized I already was. Mikhail, the guy I was working for, is Aleksei's cousin. If I had known that, I'd never have gotten involved with him, I just thought he was Damon's sketchy neighbor. I stopped dealing; I let Damon take over. But my parents are convinced if Aleksei realizes I was working for his cousin, they'll force me into doing even worse crap for their family.

"Luckily Mikhail doesn't know anything about me except that my name is Zig – Damon swore not to tell him anything about my family. And all Aleksei knows is my parents have a son named Zigmund – doesn't know my age or what I look like. The Pushnaya enterprise is big enough they'll probably never connect the dots. But my parents were still scared. They wanted me to move to Edmonton, to live with my ma's family. I told them they were overreacting, we had a huge fight, and the next day when I came home from school they had changed the locks on the doors.

"Ma had a bag packed waiting for me in the shop, along with a bus ticket to Edmonton. She said if I had any hope for a good future, it wasn't here. Made me promise I wouldn't come back to the store. I left, found the abandoned house that same day and figured I could live there, so I sold the bus ticket."

Zig fell quiet. He had told Maya the truth – all of it – and now all he could do was hope it was enough to convince her that he was worth dating. Except, now that he thought about it all, what girl in her right mind would want to date him? He was hiding from a Russian crime syndicate – not exactly a good opening line.

"Why didn't you go Edmonton, if you'd be safe there?" Maya's voice broke through Zig's thoughts. "Why did you stay?"

"Have you ever been there?" Zig retorted, "It's winter, like, literally all the time." He nudged Maya, trying to get her to laugh, but she didn't seem to see the humor in the situation. He turned serious again. "Why do you think I stayed, Maya? I made you a promise."

He glanced at the blonde and was a little gratified to see her dumbstruck, her mouth slightly open. "You stayed… for me?" she asked slowly, incredulously.

Zig nodded. "Too many people have already left you. I'm not going anywhere." He put his arm around Maya, pulling her against his side. "Trust me."

Maya tilted her face up and softly pressed her lips to Zig's before nestling her head in the crook of his shoulder. A breeze picked up, and Zig had to strain to hear Maya's words over the ivy rustling against the walls around them:

"Thank you."

* * *

A/N: This chapter concludes the initial plot bunny I had – I am convinced that there is more to Zig's "bad-boy" makeover than the show is letting on, and this is my so-crazy-it-just-might-actually-be-on-Degrassi theory. With that out of my system, I'm not sure where I want the story to go. I have an inkling, but would love to hear what you guys actually want to read, so if you have an idea feel free to PM me – I'm totally open to suggestions.


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